Where the Heart Is - 4

8月5日 03:34
'A-Alexia?' Alexia heard someone's voice as she slowly lifted her head up. It was Mrs. Blair. There were so many emotions showing on the woman's complexion, and the woman held something different from others. Her vision was blurry and the tears was built up again. The woman decided to sit beside the girl; as she shifted her position to the side, the girl pushed her away. The woman still found herself urge to do something for this girl firmly. She made her way next to the girl directly as her back lay against the wall. 'Um. You know, sometimes, the world is just so cruel to beautiful existence. It drew us out and left the heart hollow. Everything turned out to thousand knifes and suddenly stung on the hearts. And it could be just too heavy to rip them off... Bad things, terrible things... happened, that could even take more than everything to cover the wounds up, and in just a flash, realizing how vulnerable, powerless a soul could become... depleted... and defeated, and split into fragments while trying to pull back together seems impossibly. It's never been a straight line you know...? Like a full circle, all the time, and been forced to live through that circumstance again... and again... Shock of pains never really, fully, go away; it might just be buried beneath the numbness, but one day it gonna be dug out again. It wrapped around your body, like a choke-hold, never seeming to let go, the whole time. But maybe in these thoughts, there are gaps — someone — to interrupt the old tapes playing in the background, frozen in time... maybe. It is just... hard, to force a soul to remember what they have taken for ages, and start those fights in their head over and over. But just as we know, the world is never fair. Maybe we are meant to go through tough moments to see ourselves in different lights. Feeling how small we are, but think about the days, the years we've suffered... but survived from...' the woman spoke quietly, with tenderness. Alexia was then tearing up on Mrs. Blair's shoulder as the woman holding the girl in arms. 'Alexia... I, I don't know what exactly you're facing but I could see how strong you are. You may feel alone, hanging on on your own but, trust me, I know how it feels, I know exactly how it feels, to cry in the rain so no one would see it, no one could hear you, and... lock yourself up, put the mask on so no one actually knew you. Trying so hard to pull yourself all together and carefully conceal the pains you gained. But hey, you don't always need to stay so strong, no one is able to do that. It is okay to not be okay Alexia. It does not mean you're showing your weakness, you're so much stronger than you think you are. And so don't lose hope even if your worst nightmares display. I want you to know that I'm here to help. So talk to me Alexia, you can always talk to me, and I'm going to make sure you will not be alone in this...' Alexia felt something, something that she couldn't quite understand. She doesn't know Mrs. Blair, neither does Mrs. Blair know about Alexia. What the woman said somehow comfort Alexia. I'm going to make sure you'll not be alone in this. The words made her gratified because no one really knew the toughness she has gone through, but what Mrs. Blair said was quite different of all the people who tried to comfort her, she could feel it, the story behind the woman. On the other side, Mrs. Blair, she didn't know what made her feel a little courageous enough to say those words. Seeing how broken Alexia Schulz was, the woman thought of her life. She wanted to know more about this girl, she wanted to help her, and she might feel like caring this girl. She didn't know Alexia, yet she could tell this girl was so much different from other students. 'I...' alexia's sound trailed down. She wanted to confess. She felt like telling the woman about what's been bothering her but she has never opened up. She never let people in — she was protective — or she feared to slit up the wounds that were almost healed. Even though she didn't know about Mrs. Blair, she wanted to trust her. The bell rang all of a sudden as two of them realized the period was over. There would soon be some people entering. They stood and the woman found herself wiping up the girl's tears from her face. The woman softly patted on the girl's head, 'You gonna be alright?' 'Yes, I think I will.' 'Alright,' the woman smiled, 'Gotta go. If you need any help, come to the office, you'll find me there.' 'Thank you, Mrs. Blair... thank you for being here...' Alexia smiled weakly. 'You know... you look much cuter when you smile.' Mrs. Blair grinned, leaving the words before heading out. Alexia couldn't make herself approach or talk to the woman ever since the day she broke down, but what happened that day has been replaying in Alexia's head over and over. What Mrs. Blair said to Alexia were penetrated. Every time thinking of the woman, her day brightened a bit. But she was also scared, scared about her feelings blooming much further than she could expect. Alexia was much better these days. Final week's coming, Alexia had the confidence to do well on the exams before the vacation starts. She had some plans for the long break, and another exciting news is that Chris is gonna be home again, soon, with Mia. Mia is an easy going, kind, gorgeous, and absolutely thoughtful young woman. Alexia had fun time with her weeks ago. She's reassured that Mia and her brother are together. They are perfect together. Alexia smiled, slipped her pajamas on and pick up the video call. 'Chris!' Alexia smiled. 'Hey sis, I'm calling to see if you're sleeping or not,' Chris smiled, 'just letting ya know I'm still alive. I know you always miss this handsome face.' Alexia rolled her eyes, laughed, 'Whatever.' 'A... I've been thinking about moving back ya know...? I don't know. I thought working here also helped me stay away from those but you know, it always has its way to come back. And yeah I don't like the fact when you need someone too I'm not there with my own sister. I'm sorry for that, and sometimes, I feel like needing you too... Sometimes I feel like leaving you was one of the dumbest decisions I've made. And to be honest, these days, I thought about mom... a lot...' his tone softened then he paused for a moment. '...the world is never fair. I really miss her, so so much... I hate the fact but, maybe it really is like what a person has told me, we are meant to go through some tough moments to see ourselves in different lights. Feeling how small we are, but think about the days, the years we've suffered... but survived from... And here we are now, letting mum know that we're good, and we don't even need him.' she smiled weakly, picturing the day in the woman's embrace. 'You're right, A, thank you,' Chris smiled, 'seems like you're finally making a good friend huh?' 'Erm... not really. It was actually...' 'complicated.' Alexia scratched her head. 'Then make it simple!' 'Oh, and hey, mom's birthday's coming so I guess we can visit her together soon when I come?' 'Yes,' Alexia smiled, 'And make sure to bring Mia.' She winked. She turned off the lamp, curled up in the middle of the soft comfy bed, I'm going to make sure you will not be alone in this. then she smiled. Maybe in these thoughts, there are gaps — someone — to interrupt the old tapes playing in the background... She searched for the answer inside of her frozen heart, and maybe, Alexia already has the answer. - - - 嗨 我是小皮 我又來湊字數了😂☺️ 來介紹一下小說目前進度好了 小說其實是以倒帶記憶的方式開頭的 Alexia目前是23歲 九歲 母親的離世和父親入獄(之後會寫道) 身邊只剩下哥哥Chris 自此開始她便踏入了黯淡 她獨立 堅強 內向 也很懂得珍惜大小事物 過於堅強卻傷害自己更深 她選擇掩飾脆弱 難過 和與內心的掙扎 直到這個故事發生在她的高中生活 認識Mrs. Blair 後成了人生的轉折點 這邊是watty的連結☺️ https://my.w.tt/70smimbZSY
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